Alright, I must disclose this. However I try to comprehend and use American English the way the original users do, I cringe with a ditch that might equal to my disgust when seeing a picture of a politician with a wide, grin -somewhat like devilish for me- posted on a private wall. Certain styles of their usage make me think like an idiot. The harder part is not that I can’t understand their words but on how they play out metaphors and oxymoron and use these as if with all saintly honesty but then emerge to be the other way around! Oh my goodness, what did I say? Sorry but I don’t know exactly how to explain this clearer than this March, El Niño-aided sky. Just allow me to simplify– I can’t explain how the hell they play out with their jokes and humor. Yes, humor that makes these white gorillas (Oops, that’s intended specifically for Mike Marley. Sorry Atty. Jeng Gacal, pahiram lang po) roll on the floor laughing. But then when they start to snicker, as I said, I cringe.
Luckily, this past Monday, I had a chance to converse with an American named Chad Porter, a virtual computer-generated battle modeler who first said he is a businessman and then a teacher but then we caught him off guard and learned he is actually a military man and former US marine soldier in Iraq now working for the Balikatan at Fort Magsaysay. The man explained to me, over some bottle of Redhorse at my compadré Edgar Velasquez’s pad, not plainly but rather clearly and practically how they fool around and laugh seriously.
“American humor is somewhat like irony”, said Chad as he gulped twice of his grinning red stallion, “It is called SARCASM.”
“Sarcasm- you mean something like mocking?” I asked him straight.
“Yes, exactly”, he replied “but one must understand that it’s joke and not to treat gravely. Example,” pointing his finger to Randy Ramos, one of our buddies, “If he’s a playboy, we won’t say he is but rather call him a pimp.
“Sorry bro., but if you actually say that to somebody here in the Philippines, you’re a dead meat”, I explained seeing him just shrugged off the later idea as he gulped another of his beer.
And conversation went through from his intentions of visiting Rizal for Randy’s daughter to his military background which we accidentally discovered when he admitted after our persistent query where mostly the American answering loads of questions from my compadres, especially Alan Mabitasan - a man who, himself, grew up in a military family but eventually ended becoming a teacher. It may have ringed a bell for him, you know.
He then told Chad, “You found friends here in us and we can be trusted, can’t we?” He turned to look at us waiting for some nod of support.
“Right, I feel you’re all can be trusted except him”, Porter replied slowly turning his smirking face towards Jaeson Martires.
Compadre Jaeson, with a little unusual silence that night looked at him rather puzzled and said, “What is that?”
The American then returned his grinning face to me saying, “See what sarcasm is, Jermain?”
“It is Jerwyn. Yes, I got it but see also his reaction?” I explained as I tilted my own bottle towards my mouth.
The great bash went on as my buddies resumed shooting questions after questions to our guest mostly creating puzzled face which means he needed more words to understand.
As we slowly feeling the high due to the 7.2 alcohol contents of this orange, oh better make it light-brown liquid, Randy’s dad came in to fetch our guest back to their house. But when they were about to leave, I don’t know if what I’ve heard was right but all my compadres confirmed that, the six-foot-one foreigner told them, “That man, Jermain, speaks ENGLISH better than most Americans”.
It felt weird when after he left, my comrades came in congratulating me as if I’ve done wonders. Knowing that it’s no big deal for, say, American that Filipinos could speak either technically correct or grammatically erroneous English since they don’t care about it at all, I would have wanted to tell them that they must not really get excited and surprised. I just told them, “Whoa, don’t believe him, that big man is lying big time!”
With a hidden smile, I finally and completely understand what that hell of American SARCASM’s all about.
Luckily, this past Monday, I had a chance to converse with an American named Chad Porter, a virtual computer-generated battle modeler who first said he is a businessman and then a teacher but then we caught him off guard and learned he is actually a military man and former US marine soldier in Iraq now working for the Balikatan at Fort Magsaysay. The man explained to me, over some bottle of Redhorse at my compadré Edgar Velasquez’s pad, not plainly but rather clearly and practically how they fool around and laugh seriously.
“American humor is somewhat like irony”, said Chad as he gulped twice of his grinning red stallion, “It is called SARCASM.”
“Sarcasm- you mean something like mocking?” I asked him straight.
“Yes, exactly”, he replied “but one must understand that it’s joke and not to treat gravely. Example,” pointing his finger to Randy Ramos, one of our buddies, “If he’s a playboy, we won’t say he is but rather call him a pimp.
“Sorry bro., but if you actually say that to somebody here in the Philippines, you’re a dead meat”, I explained seeing him just shrugged off the later idea as he gulped another of his beer.
And conversation went through from his intentions of visiting Rizal for Randy’s daughter to his military background which we accidentally discovered when he admitted after our persistent query where mostly the American answering loads of questions from my compadres, especially Alan Mabitasan - a man who, himself, grew up in a military family but eventually ended becoming a teacher. It may have ringed a bell for him, you know.
He then told Chad, “You found friends here in us and we can be trusted, can’t we?” He turned to look at us waiting for some nod of support.
“Right, I feel you’re all can be trusted except him”, Porter replied slowly turning his smirking face towards Jaeson Martires.
Compadre Jaeson, with a little unusual silence that night looked at him rather puzzled and said, “What is that?”
The American then returned his grinning face to me saying, “See what sarcasm is, Jermain?”
“It is Jerwyn. Yes, I got it but see also his reaction?” I explained as I tilted my own bottle towards my mouth.
The great bash went on as my buddies resumed shooting questions after questions to our guest mostly creating puzzled face which means he needed more words to understand.
As we slowly feeling the high due to the 7.2 alcohol contents of this orange, oh better make it light-brown liquid, Randy’s dad came in to fetch our guest back to their house. But when they were about to leave, I don’t know if what I’ve heard was right but all my compadres confirmed that, the six-foot-one foreigner told them, “That man, Jermain, speaks ENGLISH better than most Americans”.
It felt weird when after he left, my comrades came in congratulating me as if I’ve done wonders. Knowing that it’s no big deal for, say, American that Filipinos could speak either technically correct or grammatically erroneous English since they don’t care about it at all, I would have wanted to tell them that they must not really get excited and surprised. I just told them, “Whoa, don’t believe him, that big man is lying big time!”
With a hidden smile, I finally and completely understand what that hell of American SARCASM’s all about.
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